I'm okay today, cleaning and getting stuff done around here.
Two nights ago though I awoke at 1 am with the chest pains again, they subsided after about fifteen minutes but then my stomach issues began. I won't go into details but they kept me up the rest of the night. They were gone the next day and I felt better
I hate the unknowns that come along with this disease. If the things that are happening are related to MS or just sickness.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The Diagnosis
I started this blog almost three months ago and never posted anything. I was too emotional to do it and plus my left hand couldn't type at all so it was too difficult.
Now my hand works better, still too slow IMO, but better. So I thought I would start this blog up to keep up with my life with MS. One thing with this disease is that the short term memory is affected, it's hard as it is worse then it used to be (which wasn't very good to begin with!).
I will start at the beginning of this rollercoaster. I have things written down somewhere but my children took that book for coloring! If I find it someday I may need to edit to add things I have forgotten or correct the dates.
Hannah's birthday was December 5th and I don't remember having any symptoms at that time but it may have started a bit with the left side weakness. My friend's mom passed away just before Hannah's birthday and her funeral was two hours away. I drove out there in a snow storm so I know that the stress of the drive didn't help when it came to the symptoms (stress is a BIG factor). Plus the money stress with Christmas coming and just other stresses in my life. I remember the day so clearly that I knew something was "wrong". I was driving Hannah to daycare and I felt like I was in a fog. That's the only way to describe it, a fog, everything seemed blurry and I couldn't concentrate. I proceeded to drop her at daycare and go on to work. I got to work and emailed my friend, Shaun, (which is weird to email him because he sat across the half wall from me). My email simply said, "I feel weird), his response, "you are weird". Yep, that's the nature of our friendship, smartasses both of us! Anyway, I could not concentrate on my work so I basically walked around work all day chatting (though that's not REALLY uncommon). I remember sitting at my desk and feeling almost a "pop" in my shoulder and my left arm started tingling. I thought it was in my head.
I went through the next week or so getting weaker and weaker on my left side. Lifting Hannah into her carseat was getting harder and harder. My speech started slurring really badly, I sounded drunk all the time!
It all came to a head on December 20, 2007, when I realized that it wasn't getting better, but worse. I stayed home with Hannah that day as her daycare worker was sick with the flu really bad. I started feeling sick too, I couldn't move I was weak. Bill came home and I told him it was time to go to the hospital. We packed up the kids and went. My Mom met us there and thinking it was hopefully something that could be fixed with a pill I sent her home (she had plans that evening). Bill went to the front desk to ask how much longer and I started feeling sick. I didn't make it to the bathroom (sorry to all those waiting) and Bill came back, saw me and ran for a nurse. They brought a stretcher for me right away and parked me in the hallway. Bill called my Dad and him and Doreen agreed to take the girls while Bill stayed with me. We FINALLY saw a doctor who did a bunch of tests and finally ordered a CT scan. They took me up to have the scan done, but the doctor forgot to tell them to use the dye! Up I went AGAIN for another scan, this time with dye. The doctor looked at the film and said he couldn't see anything. He brought in a senior doctor to look at me. The younger one noticed that the left side of my face was not smiling and mentioned it to the senior one, who shrugged it off. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't know what was wrong with me and that I should go home and come back if it got worse. So we did, frustrated and tired.
On December 21st I went to see my family doctor. He did some tests and he determined I had had a stroke. FINALLY an answer and he had seen it before in someone as young as me and told me not to worry that it more then likely wouldn't happen again. My thoughts were mixed, why did I have a stroke? But also, now I have a diagnosis and with a stroke I am only going to get better, right? Wrong?
Christmas came and went. It is so hard to wrap presents with one hand is crazy hard, that and opening those stupid twist things on the toys! The girls had a good Christmas I had a rotten one. The weakness kept getting worse, and now my walking was getting hard too. On Christmas day I broke down to my Mom because getting the girls ready, into the van and to my Aunt's took SO much out of me.
On December 27th in the morning I fell three times and thankfully Bill was not working and decided a trip to the hospital was called for again. We went with the kids again, Bill was angry that I was sent home the last time and now I was worse. They finally brought me in and I saw a whole bunch of doctors. Finally they sent in the neurologist, Dr. Fast, who asked me if there was a history of MS in my family. Shocked I said, "no". And thinking since there was no history that couldn't possibly be what it was. He sent me for ANOTHER CT scan and did a bunch of tests (running a sharp object on the bottom of my foot, testing my reflexes etc.) After all the testing (the girls were at my Dad's again) he came in and said they wanted to do an MRI and they would do it in the morning. He also wanted me to stay in the hospital. So that was the decision, Bill went home to be with the girls (I had never spent a night away from Hannah!) and I went to observation to wait for a bed to open up. At this time I had very little movement in my left hand/arm. I waited there until about 11:30pm when there was FINALLY a bed for me on the fifth floor.
In the morning I was taken for my MRI, it was really scary. The whole bed shook and it was LOUD, they even put ear plugs in and it was loud. It lasted about half an hour and I was taken back up to my room. Later that day my Mom was visiting and the doctor who was looking after me came in with the MRI results. She said matter-of-factly, "you have MS." What?!?!? I broke down, Bill walked in at that moment. I had no words, no questions, just scared. Bill hugged me, my Mom hugged me and we all cried. What did that mean for me? Would I die? I didn't know anything about MS, nothing and I was scared.
If you don't know what MS is, here is one information page for you:
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/multiple_sclerosis/multiple_sclerosis.htm
The one thing about MS is it doesn't affect people the same way. There are no answers to my, what will happen to me? Will I regain use of my left hand/arm? Will I ever be able to pick up my baby again? Nobody had any answers for me.
Luckily for me my room was empty for the first two days (it was a semi private). After that they brought in a lady in her 70's with lung failure. She was so nice and quiet I enjoyed having her as my roomie. Bill brought the girls pretty much every day. I loved seeing them, but hated saying good bye :o(
I couldn't walk by myself, I couldn't lift my left arm or move my left hand. They started me on a steroid drip, every night for 5 nights. It was a HUGE dose of predisone, in hopes to kick start my immune system fast. It didn't work. I of course thought that was the miracle cure, and was disappointed that nothing happened.
I started physio and a foot brace was ordered for me to help with my foot drop (dragging the foot when walking). I had to be taken to the bathroom on a comode. I had to be showered (that took me a long time to accept). Thankfully Bill agreed that I should have a television and telephone so that is all I did all day, watched television and cried.
I was kept in the hospital waiting for homecare to be set up. They moved me down to the third floor (OB/GYN). I HATED it down there, the room was SMALL, I had to share a bathroom with 3 old ladies. My roommate burped all day long and was just irritating. I was getting more and more frustrated and homesick everyday. Bill was doing his best with the girls but had gone back to work and was tired. He was also trying to the house in order for me. Of course he had never been the girls primary caregiver and nobody looks after kids like their mother. He did well though and they were happy.
I was allowed to go home on day and overnight passes, which I did a few times and that helped a bit. It was nice to go home but so hard that I couldn't do anything when I got there.
Finally, exactly two weeks after I was admitted the homecare was set up. I was SO happy! It was 9am that I was told and Bill was at work. I called everyone I knew, but nobody could come and get me. I had to wait until Bill got home to tell him. And he finally came and BUSTED me out of there. Good bye and good riddance I say!
That was my hospital stay, I will continue later.
Now my hand works better, still too slow IMO, but better. So I thought I would start this blog up to keep up with my life with MS. One thing with this disease is that the short term memory is affected, it's hard as it is worse then it used to be (which wasn't very good to begin with!).
I will start at the beginning of this rollercoaster. I have things written down somewhere but my children took that book for coloring! If I find it someday I may need to edit to add things I have forgotten or correct the dates.
Hannah's birthday was December 5th and I don't remember having any symptoms at that time but it may have started a bit with the left side weakness. My friend's mom passed away just before Hannah's birthday and her funeral was two hours away. I drove out there in a snow storm so I know that the stress of the drive didn't help when it came to the symptoms (stress is a BIG factor). Plus the money stress with Christmas coming and just other stresses in my life. I remember the day so clearly that I knew something was "wrong". I was driving Hannah to daycare and I felt like I was in a fog. That's the only way to describe it, a fog, everything seemed blurry and I couldn't concentrate. I proceeded to drop her at daycare and go on to work. I got to work and emailed my friend, Shaun, (which is weird to email him because he sat across the half wall from me). My email simply said, "I feel weird), his response, "you are weird". Yep, that's the nature of our friendship, smartasses both of us! Anyway, I could not concentrate on my work so I basically walked around work all day chatting (though that's not REALLY uncommon). I remember sitting at my desk and feeling almost a "pop" in my shoulder and my left arm started tingling. I thought it was in my head.
I went through the next week or so getting weaker and weaker on my left side. Lifting Hannah into her carseat was getting harder and harder. My speech started slurring really badly, I sounded drunk all the time!
It all came to a head on December 20, 2007, when I realized that it wasn't getting better, but worse. I stayed home with Hannah that day as her daycare worker was sick with the flu really bad. I started feeling sick too, I couldn't move I was weak. Bill came home and I told him it was time to go to the hospital. We packed up the kids and went. My Mom met us there and thinking it was hopefully something that could be fixed with a pill I sent her home (she had plans that evening). Bill went to the front desk to ask how much longer and I started feeling sick. I didn't make it to the bathroom (sorry to all those waiting) and Bill came back, saw me and ran for a nurse. They brought a stretcher for me right away and parked me in the hallway. Bill called my Dad and him and Doreen agreed to take the girls while Bill stayed with me. We FINALLY saw a doctor who did a bunch of tests and finally ordered a CT scan. They took me up to have the scan done, but the doctor forgot to tell them to use the dye! Up I went AGAIN for another scan, this time with dye. The doctor looked at the film and said he couldn't see anything. He brought in a senior doctor to look at me. The younger one noticed that the left side of my face was not smiling and mentioned it to the senior one, who shrugged it off. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't know what was wrong with me and that I should go home and come back if it got worse. So we did, frustrated and tired.
On December 21st I went to see my family doctor. He did some tests and he determined I had had a stroke. FINALLY an answer and he had seen it before in someone as young as me and told me not to worry that it more then likely wouldn't happen again. My thoughts were mixed, why did I have a stroke? But also, now I have a diagnosis and with a stroke I am only going to get better, right? Wrong?
Christmas came and went. It is so hard to wrap presents with one hand is crazy hard, that and opening those stupid twist things on the toys! The girls had a good Christmas I had a rotten one. The weakness kept getting worse, and now my walking was getting hard too. On Christmas day I broke down to my Mom because getting the girls ready, into the van and to my Aunt's took SO much out of me.
On December 27th in the morning I fell three times and thankfully Bill was not working and decided a trip to the hospital was called for again. We went with the kids again, Bill was angry that I was sent home the last time and now I was worse. They finally brought me in and I saw a whole bunch of doctors. Finally they sent in the neurologist, Dr. Fast, who asked me if there was a history of MS in my family. Shocked I said, "no". And thinking since there was no history that couldn't possibly be what it was. He sent me for ANOTHER CT scan and did a bunch of tests (running a sharp object on the bottom of my foot, testing my reflexes etc.) After all the testing (the girls were at my Dad's again) he came in and said they wanted to do an MRI and they would do it in the morning. He also wanted me to stay in the hospital. So that was the decision, Bill went home to be with the girls (I had never spent a night away from Hannah!) and I went to observation to wait for a bed to open up. At this time I had very little movement in my left hand/arm. I waited there until about 11:30pm when there was FINALLY a bed for me on the fifth floor.
In the morning I was taken for my MRI, it was really scary. The whole bed shook and it was LOUD, they even put ear plugs in and it was loud. It lasted about half an hour and I was taken back up to my room. Later that day my Mom was visiting and the doctor who was looking after me came in with the MRI results. She said matter-of-factly, "you have MS." What?!?!? I broke down, Bill walked in at that moment. I had no words, no questions, just scared. Bill hugged me, my Mom hugged me and we all cried. What did that mean for me? Would I die? I didn't know anything about MS, nothing and I was scared.
If you don't know what MS is, here is one information page for you:
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/multiple_sclerosis/multiple_sclerosis.htm
The one thing about MS is it doesn't affect people the same way. There are no answers to my, what will happen to me? Will I regain use of my left hand/arm? Will I ever be able to pick up my baby again? Nobody had any answers for me.
Luckily for me my room was empty for the first two days (it was a semi private). After that they brought in a lady in her 70's with lung failure. She was so nice and quiet I enjoyed having her as my roomie. Bill brought the girls pretty much every day. I loved seeing them, but hated saying good bye :o(
I couldn't walk by myself, I couldn't lift my left arm or move my left hand. They started me on a steroid drip, every night for 5 nights. It was a HUGE dose of predisone, in hopes to kick start my immune system fast. It didn't work. I of course thought that was the miracle cure, and was disappointed that nothing happened.
I started physio and a foot brace was ordered for me to help with my foot drop (dragging the foot when walking). I had to be taken to the bathroom on a comode. I had to be showered (that took me a long time to accept). Thankfully Bill agreed that I should have a television and telephone so that is all I did all day, watched television and cried.
I was kept in the hospital waiting for homecare to be set up. They moved me down to the third floor (OB/GYN). I HATED it down there, the room was SMALL, I had to share a bathroom with 3 old ladies. My roommate burped all day long and was just irritating. I was getting more and more frustrated and homesick everyday. Bill was doing his best with the girls but had gone back to work and was tired. He was also trying to the house in order for me. Of course he had never been the girls primary caregiver and nobody looks after kids like their mother. He did well though and they were happy.
I was allowed to go home on day and overnight passes, which I did a few times and that helped a bit. It was nice to go home but so hard that I couldn't do anything when I got there.
Finally, exactly two weeks after I was admitted the homecare was set up. I was SO happy! It was 9am that I was told and Bill was at work. I called everyone I knew, but nobody could come and get me. I had to wait until Bill got home to tell him. And he finally came and BUSTED me out of there. Good bye and good riddance I say!
That was my hospital stay, I will continue later.
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